"I'm awesome because I am not afraid to fall,
nor ashamed to stumble.
Because I never wanted to be beautiful,
and I never pretended to be."

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

comment dit-on "EPIC FAIL" en Français? oh oui, Blake Lively for Mademoiselle CHANEL.

Blake Lively. Where do I begin. I'm having some trouble understanding how much of a grip on the fashiongame she has and why Anna Wintour thinks she's the best thing since she discovered the only plastic surgeon that does the 35 minute lunch-lipo is on the same block as her VOGUE headquarters. I became even more concerned when Karl Lagerfart announced her as the face of his Mademoiselle bag for CHANEL. No one can't deny that Blake is damn gorgeous and sizzling hot. But I also happen to know exclusively that Blake was birthed by short Marchesa dresses and a pair of sexilicous tan long legs in a science lab. So her and CHANEL? Not a likely pair. But perhaps Karl was thinking he'd capitalize on her sex chicka-bow-wow appeal and give CHANEL some gusto. But NOPE. Instead we're left with images of Blake right after undergoing a labotomy at the Rue Chambon shop. 

What I find particularly hilarious is that there were rumors flying around that many CHANEL honchos were concerned that Blake was "too off brand"- pretty much, she was too much of a ho-looking floozy. And I guess their concerns were heard because Blake looks so freaking blah and dead in the face. But it gets even more hilarious because some bitches over at CHANEL PR's dungeon came out to defend Blake: 
“Blake’s spontaneity and fresh youthful image have convinced Chanel that she is the right person to represent the house and this range of bags.”
Ummm, did they not get the memo that they decided to go with the "I've only had a Cheez-It all day" zombie look with Blake??? I've seen potatoes and zuchini's (yeah I don't know why I used vegetables but whatever) with more spontaneity and fresher looking than Blake does in this ad campaign. And I know there's been a series of budget cuts and all but did they really have to resort to having their intern use PhotoBucket for photoshopping?? The first picture leaves me concerned because those fingers look like octopus tentacles. Her index finger looks like it's trying to stretch itself out of the shot because he knew how much of an embarrassing dud these photos would be. He would not be associated with Blake nor CHANEL. And the second one is a plain out copycat bust because Natalie Portman already did the whole "Crazy psycho lurking in the mirrors" bit in Black Swan:
For shame on this whole catastrophe of undiluted boredom. FOR SHAME! Oh, how I enjoy when the Lagerfart fails. Fortunately the Mademoiselle sector of CHANEL wasn't brought down by Blake because Kiera Knightly's campaign is on fire!!

Now that's how you give good face! Kiera, you better sprinkle some of that onto Blake before her ass gets fired or we get another eyesore (Zeus knows that Lagerfart will not back down).

And yes, I do refer to him as LagerFART-- no typo.

images via I don't remember but they're not mine.

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Ice Pandora said...

Haha, how much I enjoyed your post again.

I agree, her facial expressions are abit emotionless (I love zuchini's!). I love Blake, and I think she has a beatifull look. I think Chanel could have put more colors in the pictures, afterall colors are hot at this moment.
OMG why were the budget cut off??

Keira you go girl!


David Toms said...

I have been looking for another name to call Uncle Karl, and you have come through trumps!

Snow Black said...

You crack me up!!! I never understood WHY she was even to be the face. Maybe I am biased to think only Europena It-girls sould be working that Chanel bitch baby, but yeah that finger. seriously? that's like photoshop 101 shit you learn in the 5th grade. SMH

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