I recently came across this little meme from a facebook page devoted to the ridiculous and hilarious attributes about life at my private college.
There's no surprise that where you find a private school, you find rich bitches. At my perfectly manicured and BMW infested school perched up on a hill overlooking San Diego, you constantly find a myriad of designer bags in each corner; Versace over here, Chanel over there, Gucci that way, Louis Vuitton to the left, Fendi to the right. But here's the kicker... we're not talking tiny hand bags. Oh, no, no, noo00oo... not at USD! That would be blasphemy. These designer bagaroos parade around in enormous ma$$ive sizes because at a school like ours, the future 1% has to have designer BOOK BAGS and since there's really not a designer book bag "store", they just get the biggest designer bag from some fancy place and adopt it as one. I swear you can smuggle an entire child army - Brangelina, I'm looking at you! - in them with a single swipe and then have room for a Adele's six Grammy's, plus her celebratory bucket of fried chicken. Trust me, I've thought of running one of these floozies over and pawning their bag for my
rainy day fund Mexican Food Fund.
Anyways, yesterday as I was contemplating pushing the Tori Burch flat wearers down the stairs at the Panini café while waiting to meet my little sister for lunch on campus - we go to the same school (how the school hasn't exploded with our craziness, I do not know.) - and in the corner of my eye, I catch a large sized blue haze of beauty coming my way...
The PS1 bag by the boys of Proenza Schouler! AND IT WAS ON MY LITTLE SISTERS ARM!! My first thought was that it was fake, but we haven't been to any C.S.I. ridden back alleys in Canal Street in years, so then my second thought was that my little sister had become a congressman's "community project" because clearly there was some ho action going on to land this baby. But to my amazement, she said she went shopping for a book bag and thought the PS1 would be a "nice" one, so she nabbed it. She had become ONE OF THEM.
THIS. IS. WHAT'S.WRONG.WITH.THIS.WORLD!!!Bitches thinking it's ok to grab expensive things to just toss around as a mere book bag. People, by that I mean me, would give an arm and their last working kidney (lord knows mine's on its last stretch) to get this baby and then would probably ask Harry Potter to cast a protection spell over it so it wouldn't get hurt. Hell, I'd even buy it a baby seat for car rides.
In reality I know I'm not one to talk, I get the retail crazies bad, but I always cherish every single thing that makes it to my altar, aka closet. Even as fucking ridic as I get, I understand the value of my shindigs and wouldn't ever treat them like second class citizens. You wouldn't see me using an Hermès Colier de Chien as a door stopper, napkin holder maybe, but not a door stopper! I guess it just comes with the territory of going to a school that clearly doesn't live by real world standards. But seriously if my craycray "I'd rather eat Macaroni and Cheese for life and become a slave to MrPorter and Neiman's" self is giving you a stink eye for YOUR spending, something aint right in the Pelligrino! Don't buy because you can, buy because you understand and respect!!! WORD! Anywho, I didn't fret too much because fortunately my little sister follows fashion and can word vomit fashion knowledge faster then Karl Lagerfeld can suck the
image(s) via my instagram @rgratz
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