"I'm awesome because I am not afraid to fall,
nor ashamed to stumble.
Because I never wanted to be beautiful,
and I never pretended to be."

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

abbey lee + the journal = ad campaign for malnourished druggies??

The Journal just cranked out their latest issue with Abbey Lee Kershaw looking, ummm, well... interesting on the cover.
As soon as I gazed upon it, I flipped through my calendar to see if June was World Hunger Awareness month. It isn't. So then naturally I checked if it was World Strung-Out Druggie Awareness month too. Another no go. Seriously?? I haven't been this confused since I saw Enrique Iglesias' severed face-mole found a new home on Lady Gaga's mug (seriously, there are waaay better options out there.). I honestly feel like my face looks like it has just suffered from a seizure because I don't understand why The Journal thinks it's ok to have Abbey Lee look like she barely survived the Cold War, became an extra on CSI: NY as a back alley runaway crackhead, and wants to be the second coming of England's precious ashtray Pete Doherty. I don't get it. But then I saw these pictures of Abbey at the Fiat 500 by Gucci launch party from last week that makes me think there's something else going on here.
Holy skeletor! I always knew hanging out with The Crypt Keep, Lagerfart, for a prolonged period of time was bad for your health, but never did I imagine that he'd literally suck the life out of you. I mean, whaaa?? I can't even look at Abbey's face without wanting to 1. Look up words in the thesaurus for "fugly" and "haggard". 2. grab my rosary. and 3. call Model Protective Services. Alarming doesn't even begin to cover it. I mean, I do enjoy a dash of heroine chic served á la 90's but hell, even Kate Moss herself would tell Abbey to get her shit together! Too much, too sad. For shame at The Journal for capitalizing & pushing this morbid look forward- not just to the masses but also for Abbey. And WTF is that bread roll doing in the mix?? Perhaps it's her ration for the month? Yup, that explains everything.

Diane von Fürstenberg once said: "Beauty is health. If not healthy, you loose beauty." -- in our times, I hope everyone knows that this is the utter truth.

I'm currently prepping to hunt down Abbey. I'll be equipped with a spray tan machine, gallons of PediaSure, a bucket of deep fried chicken, and a ticket to R. Gratz Casa de Rehab. Kidnapping isn't kidnapping if you're saving someone's life!
images via the journal & tfs
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KC said...

oh god. this cover is so sad. is someone in the journal mad at her? i remember one of the episodes in SATC when carrie came out of the cover of the new yorker looking like a hopeless drug addict. this is terrible. someone save abbey lee!


Andrés Corella said...

Wow..she looks disastrous..what happened to her?? Like really she looks like a skeletor zombie!..Milla Jovovich will kick her ass on the street if she saw her...this makes me sad

The Black Label

Clément Dezelus said...

LOve your blog ! Follow you now !

Chuck said...

I don't think her chosen hollow-eye makeup choice is doing her any favours either. So crazy cos she can be so gorgeous.

Berta said...

Oh my gooD!!! You are so nicee! thank u so muchh!! it´s such a lovely comment!!!=)! L U!!!

New York Don't Leave Me said...

Yikes! You're right! She looks sick!

wickeRmoss said...

thnaks for dropping by my blog. followed u alr!


Jess said...

I swear she's always had weird sunken eyes though? But that cover is f**king awful, who would pass that as the best photo for the issue? Madness!

& thank you for all your very lovely comments, good luck with the kidnap!

Snow Black said...

Oh my God. Now that is some f'ed up ish ! I know shoe does the whole cheekbone look sometimes but this is death in 6 inch heels.

Jazzy E (hivenn) said...

Totally with you . Lara's lost a lot of weight recently too. x hivenn

are you dressing up or dressing down said...

this is awful, she is such a pretty girl.

Helen, X

Margaret said...

oh abbey.
to be fair though, i think her hair has a lot to do with it. she looks a lot more waif-y with hair that's lighter than she is. x

Mat said...

well you never know, she might be fine, i've sure seen a lot worse. she defo could do with some fried stuff with cheese but i'd leave the fake tan, not my bag at all.

you're blog is bonkers, keep it that way.

thanks for the comment, you sound very excitable!

Amy T said...

ahahah i love you already, thanks for commenting and making me aware of your blog and wonderful writing.

I was wondering what was in her hand, until you mentioned it. its so weird. imagine how the photoshoot went with the director telling abby lee to hold some bread. it was probably quite confusing for everyone involved.

Snow Black said...

I'm dying to get my butt over there! September is when I plan on hitting up the States. NYC and LA !! ;-) fingers crossed

Anonymous said...

Looking at previous pictures of her she does seem to have lost that glow to her face, although the rubbish lighting and heaps of black surroundings doesn't do her any favours. Like someone mentioned it could be her hair, doesn't warm her up at all!

Even though I'm not keen on the magazine cover at all I do quite like it but probably in an artistic sort of way, I like how it has a sense of vulnerability, plus the painting of the man in the back is a nice touch. I feel more sorry for her rather than 'man, I'm gonna buy this magazine!' - doesn't sell it to me at all really. Gives off a bad impression.

I really enjoy the way you write, rather bizzare and excitable!

SabinePsynopsis said...

The 1st pic reminded me very much of the early 90s aesthetics - which I don't mind. The others... well, I guess it's difficult to stay healthy in an challenging environment like this.

Anonymous said...

haha you are funny and insightful... with so much makeup on the area, why not use it on her??

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