"I'm awesome because I am not afraid to fall,
nor ashamed to stumble.
Because I never wanted to be beautiful,
and I never pretended to be."

Monday, February 27, 2012

the oscars and the oscar hussies in their sunday's best.

Oscar's were last night & this is what you need to know:

Ryan Seacrest got Dictator-ed by Lindsay Lohan's drug dealer The Dictator.
Angelina Jolie's right leg was the breakout star of the night.
J. Lo had a case of the "is that her nipple??"'s throughout the event.
The Artist ransacked the Academy for pretty much all of it's Oscars. 
Octavia Spencer won Best Supporting Actress. Halelujaaah holler back!
Meryl Streep finally won an Oscar after being nominated year after year for Best Actress.
Billy Crystal was hilarious but needs to sue his plastic surgeon, stat.
The end.

Now, la alfombra roja, for all you non-spanish speakers (for shame!), the red carpet.

Like usual, there were some dresses that shut shit down, ass-face dresses that made you want to stab your eyes out, and then there were the "I have to squint bc I'm not quite sure if my peen likes it" ones too. I'm sure you've heard all the haters and praisers cover the crap out of the redcarpet, so I'm just going to show the ones that I thought were worth looking at due to WHO was wearing them.

OK, but just between me and the 1 person who reads this blog (thanks, Mom!), the hussies in white/cream brutally gave it to me hard with glory so much so that I have unofficially bestowed upon them the honor of being part of my harem- the highest award other than an Oscar. 

Octavia Spencer in Tadashi Shoji
Roony Mara in Givenchy Haute Couture
... because I have a back festish.
Gwyneth Paltrow in Tom Ford. Actually I don't care for the dress but anyone with an awesome cape is legit in my book.
Milla Jovavich in Elie Saab Couture
... didn't I tell you I have a thing for backs?? HAWT DAYUUM!!
Jennifer Lopes and her peek-a-boo nipple in Zuhair Murad
And now the rest...
Angelina Jolie's Right Leg in Atelier Versace
Penelope-Grace Cruz-Kelly in Armani Privé
Michelle Williams in Louis Vuitton
My current actress crush, Jessica Chastain in Alexander McQueen
The grand and supreme Viola Davis in Vera Wang
Someone's hot grandma, Glenn Close in Zac Posen
Emma Stone in Giambattista Valli
Sandra Bullock in Marchesa
Meryl Streep in Lanvin 
Natalie Portman in vintage Spring 1954 Christian Dior
Kristen "It's possible for me to look unrecognizably pretty" Wig in J. Mendel
Tina Fey in Carolina Herrera
Oh and because I'm for sure damn man-crushing on these gents, 
The Artist director and Best Director Award recipient, Michel Hazanavicius
Best Supporting Actor winner and velvet suit gangstah Christopher Plummer and his equally ravishing wife Elaine Taylor
And that's pretty much the big name listers on the red carpet that night. I swear the crowd this year was very damn blah with many of the high timing usual-suspects missing. Seriously, WhereTF was Charlize Theron, Kate Hudson, Jodie Foster, Sigourney Weaver, Diane Keaton, Hilary Swank, Kate Winslet, Julianne Moore, Renée Zellwegger, Uma Therman, Nicole Kidman, or Julia Roberts?? I mean, I know they weren't all up in the film radar this year but c'mon!!?? It is gracias to their absences that we were subjected with the dislikes of Giuliana Rancic and Stacey Keibler. I'm surprised a Kardashian didn't make it out either. Ay caramba, what is this world turning into? We always have next year, I guess.  

image(s) via not fucking mine, so google search
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Carrie said...

I think Emma Stone looked so radiant in that red gown1 It's very different. I also liked Kristen Wiig's look. Simple.


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Pachi Santiago said...

My favorite: Gwyneth Paltrow and Milla.
Now my new web in my blog. I invite you!

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